Plot
Born in America, but raised in Havemahkeeta in India, with a population of 76, Maurice had always to better Deepak Chopra, and be sexually active, ever since he was 12. His Guru, Tugginmypudha, while approving of Deepak, cautions Maurice and has a chastity belt put around his waist. Years later, Maurice has established himself as Guru Pitka in America, but would like to appear in the Oprah Show and be better than Deepak Chopra. When Jane Bullard from the the Toronto Maple Leafs hires him to counsel their star hockey player, Darren Roanoke, to win back his wife, Prudence, from Kings' star player, Jacques Grande, and also stand up to his dominating mother, Lilian, he agrees to do so - with hilarious results.
Keywords: abomination, accident, acronym, actor-playing-himself, actress-playing-herself, altoids, animal-sex, apology, arena, bad-taste
His Karma is Huge
Get ready for the summer of love
Jacques Grande: Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!
Guru Pitka: Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle. Tickle, tickle.
Jacques Grande: Ding Dong. Did someone order the special Quebec pizza huh? You know, like in the porno.
Guru Pitka: Let's look at the word, guru. Ok. My goal is to get you to say "Gee You Are You", tm.
[repeated line]::Guru Pitka: Marishka Hargitay.
Rajneesh: [answering cell phone] Dell Computers, this is Chip.
Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?
Jay Kell: [from trailer] That is going to knock some change out of his coin purse!
Jacques Grande: And now, I'd like to show my love by making for you a Quebec pizza.::Prudence Roanoke: What's that?::Jacques Grande: Pop-Tart with the ketchup. She's good.
Guru Pitka: Please welcome, Celine Dion!::Jacques Grande: Ah! Dis is my day of lucky!
Plot
Four troubled orphans from four separate movie scenarios who are bound together in a wacky chocolate factory after receiving golden tickets to go on an 'epic adventure.' After they escape from the clutches of a very scary Willy Wonka they discover the magical world of 'Gnarnia' through an enchanted wardrobe. There they must seek the help of a randy lion, a hoard of mutants from the x academy, students of witchcraft and wizardry, funky swash-buckling pirates and a mischievous beaver to defeat the evil white bitch!
Keywords: acrobat, airplane, albino, animated-sequence, apple-computer, archery, axe, axe-in-chest, band, bare-breasts
The mother of all spoofs
From 2 of the 6 writers of "Scary Movie"
We Know It's Big. We Measured.
Opening Wide, January 26
Peter: [while urinating in the snow] Look! Nicole Richie! [camera shows a stick figure with hair]
White Bitch: Behold, my white castle.::[she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]::Edward: White Castle? I feel like I've been there before.
Willy: Who wants to play with Willy?
Peter: I want flabby grandma arms!
[as the White Queen pulls up in her turbo sled]::Edward: Whoa, Stifler's mom!
Lucy: Holy shit, a talking beaver!
Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?::Edward: Uh-huh.::Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts. There's gonna be a little itty bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally.
Edward: A chocolate river! Mmm! Mmm! Chocolate! Hahahaha!::Willy: That's actually the sewer line.
Lucy: [Reading a hidden message on a painting] "So lame the hair of Tom"::[Looks toward a painting a Tom Hanks with his long hair in "The Da Vinci Code"]::Lucy: Wait. "Lame." "Lame" is a - "Lame" is a seven-letter word.
Peter: [Talking about the frozen White Bitch] We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and...::Captain Jack Swallows: [Jack Swallows come rolling by on the wodden wheel and runs over the Bitch] [In the distance] Take that, Bitch!::Peter: [pauses] Ah, screw her anyways.
Kanye Omari West ( /ˈkɑːnjeɪ/; born June 8, 1977) is an American musician, film director and fashion designer. West first rose to fame as a producer for Roc-A-Fella Records, where he eventually achieved recognition for his work on Jay-Z's album The Blueprint, as well as hit singles for musical artists including Alicia Keys, Ludacris, and Janet Jackson. His style of production originally used pitched-up vocal samples from soul songs incorporated with his own drums and instruments. However, subsequent productions saw him broadening his musical palette and expressing influences encompassing '70s R&B, baroque pop, trip hop, arena rock, folk, alternative, electronica, synthpop, and classical music.
West released his debut album The College Dropout in 2004, his second album Late Registration in 2005, his third album Graduation in 2007, his fourth album 808s & Heartbreak in 2008, and his fifth album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy in 2010. West released a collaborative album, Watch the Throne with Jay-Z in 2011, which is the duo's first collaborative album. His five solo albums, all of which have gone platinum, have received numerous awards and critical acclaim. As of 2012, West has won a total of eighteen Grammy Awards, making him one of the most awarded artists of all-time. All albums have been very commercially successful, with My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy becoming his fourth consecutive No. 1 album in the U.S. upon release. West has had 5 songs exceed 3 million in digital sales as of July 2011, with "Gold Digger" selling 3,086,000, "Stronger" selling 4,402,000, "Heartless" selling 3,742,000, "E.T." selling over 4,000,000 and "Love Lockdown" selling over 3,000,000 placing him third in overall digital sales of the past decade. He has sold over 30 million digital songs in the United States making him one of the best-selling digital artists of all-time.